why can't i just keep everything inside me and let everything be what they are.
the reality that i want it to be a dream. and the dream that i want it to be the reality.
the never-ending love. the never-ending pain.
practically i just went to look for things to crush me.
the way you look now. i don't wish to ruin it. but i want to make it better.
i seriously messed up with my fucking cheap life.
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i just realised i became i loner. now here am i. sitting infront of my dumb com. alone at home. eating a pathetic shrooms burger meal with a box of stupid cheese fries. which total up to be $3.95. and bloody hell. its only 3pm and i am at home. thanks to myself. i have led myself to this pathetic lifestyle.
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maybe, i am just being too naive. but. the feeling is really strong. the way you look at me. i don't understand. WHY?! i think. i am just. thinking too highly of myself. i am just trying to cheat myself. am i? i don't understand. i can't explain the strong feeling. i can't describe it.
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grrrr. i can't stop editing to my post. from 3 edit till now... 5.30. have been watching the show on youtube that Ames recommended. it really cheered me up. thanks Ames. but. my mind just can't take off from you. how are you now? are you safely back home? did you like eat your dinner? where you now? are you smiling? are you having fun? and.. do you miss us? but. its quite impossible though.
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hope you didn't really injure yourself. please take care lahh. watch your footings.
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why am i so worried when i know theres someone with you.
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